• Subscribe
  • Login
  • The Editors

    Contributions from The Editors

    Featurette

    America by the Numbers

    30 — Percent of US wheat directly treated before harvest with glyphosate, the active ingredient in the cancer-causing herbicide Roundup 100 — Percent of US soybean acreage treated with glyphosate 1500 — Percent increase in global use of glyphosate since the introduction of “Roundup ready” … Continue Reading

    Featurette

    American Glossary

    AI — Your toaster is smarter than you are Doge — Not pronounced “dog” Doge coin — Elon Musk wants you to buy it   Harris campaign — Where did the money go? Kayfabe — It’s fake K-Hive — K-Hole Pedo — New word for “famous”   Pollsters — “It’s a toss-up” means never having to say you were wrong Joe … Continue Reading

    Featurette

    Stocking Stuffers by All 50 States

    Alabama — George Wallace “I won” bumper sticker Alaska — Muktuk  Arizona — Lisinoprin Arkansas — Whisk broom  California — OG Kush preroll Colorado — Invoice from new Venezuelan landlord Connecticut — MILF neighbor’s house keys  Delaware — Hunter Biden’s coke spoon Florida — Trump family … Continue Reading

    Departments

    America by the Numbers

    44.9 — Elon Musk’s compensation package as head of Tesla, in billions 45,811 — Average salary of non-CEO Tesla employee, in dollars 20 — Multiple of average worker compensation earned by US corporate CEO in 1950 271 — Multiple of average worker compensation earned by US CEO in 2016 3,580 — Current … Continue Reading

    Departments

    Crime Blotter

    The US Department of Justice has charged Lisa Findley of Kimberling City, Missouri with faking documents, forging signatures, and impersonating officers of a fictitious loan company in a scheme to auction off Graceland. Prosecutors said Findley claimed that Lisa Marie Presley had signed over the … Continue Reading

    Departments

    Bouquets and Brickbats

    Brickbat  For the Boeing Corporation, which has stranded US astronauts Sunita Williams and Butch Wilmore in space since June with no end in sight, thanks to the faulty engineering and construction of the company’s supposedly reusable Starlight spacecraft, which experienced software failures, five … Continue Reading

    Editorial

    Favorite Summer Drink in All 50 States

    Alabama — Alabama Slammer   Alaska — Red Bull with glacial ice  Arizona — Alka-Seltzer Arkansas — Milk  California — Gin and Juice  Colorado — Coors Banquet Golden Lager  Connecticut — Moscow Mule  Delaware — Coke Florida — Mojito   Georgia — Fani Willis Grey Goose  Hawaii — Shaved ice syrup  Idaho … Continue Reading

    Editorial

    Crime Blotter

    The Florida legislature is taking action against the threat of “crack bears,” which are apparently menacing rural homeowners. Under the terms of HB 87, Floridians will be allowed to shoot and kill bears that trespass on their property, as long as they notify the Florida Fish and Wildlife … Continue Reading

    Editorial

    Bouquets and Brickbats

    To pop queen Gwen Stefani for emerging from domestic happy-land with country-music prince Blake Shelton to grace some stages in the American heartland this summer with her necessary presence. Call her punk, pop, ska-pop, rock, or SoCal Harajuku girl, Stefani combines the best female-performer stage … Continue Reading

    Editorial

    American Glossary

    Hip-Hop Star Young Thug — Prophet of the corruption of the Georgia legal system  Hunter Biden — The President both parties can agree on  Felony — A misdemeanor dressed up for election day Dementia — Qualification for higher political office  Justice — My share of the pie Oppression — Your share of … Continue Reading

    Editorial

    America by the Numbers

    39 million — Total number of hunting permits, licenses, and stamps issued in the US in 2021 100 — Approximate number of hunting-related fatalities in the US in 2021 30 — Number of hunting fatalities reported in Texas in 1970  1 — Number of hunting fatalities in Texas in 2023 0 — Estimated number of … Continue Reading

    Editorial

    The Front Porch

    July 4th is a traditional time to celebrate America’s republican democracy, eat hamburgers and pie, set off fireworks, and take stock of where we are at as a nation. By some measures, we are doing fantastically well — a military hyperpower with global reach powered by the world’s most advanced … Continue Reading

    Departments

    American Glossary

    Brat summer — How to go from 0 votes to 91 million votes in three months  Permission structure — How they make you think their thoughts Donald J. Trump — William Jennings Bryan plus the Pillow Guy  The Gilded Age — Who says history doesn’t repeat itself?  Great Britain — No Constitution or Bill of … Continue Reading

    Editorial

    The Front Porch

    The experience of living in modern times is defined by the pace of change being faster than human beings can process in the moment. While we are looking in one place, the reality that we took for granted a little bit to the left or the right has become unrecognizable. In fact, too many things are … Continue Reading

    Editorial

    The Front Porch

    This year I went to spring training in Florida with my son, which is corny. My son is 18 years old, lives on a ranch on the other side of the country and reads Wittgenstein, and comports himself very often like a grown man. At the same time, he’s not above bringing a baseball mitt to games or … Continue Reading

    Editorial

    The Front Porch

    The great Polish poet Czesław Miłosz, winner of the Nobel Prize in Literature back when such prizes were awarded for actual literary merit, was the first artist to publicly defect from a Communist bloc country after World War II. By then, the horrors of Nazi death camps and Stalinist gulags were … Continue Reading

    Editorial

    The Front Porch

    There is no shortage of opinions going around these days. What they mostly have in common is that the people who offer them don’t have the slightest idea of what they are talking about, and at the same time imagine that they themselves will bear zero responsibility for the consequences of their … Continue Reading

    Departments

    Dream President in All 50 States

    Alabama — Bear Bryant Alaska — Bullwinkle the Moose  Arizona — Barry Goldwater  Arkansas — Bill Clinton  California — Snoop Dogg  Colorado — Adolph Coors Connecticut — Thurston Howell III  Delaware — Hunter Biden  Florida — Franklin Delano Roosevelt Georgia — Jimmy Carter  Hawaii — Barack Obama … Continue Reading