Charley Crockett’s Big Fat Mouth
Part cow and part man, he’s heir to the outlaw-country tradition
He complains: As talented as many Nashville songwriters are, none of them know any fucking songs
It’s the latest installment in the Battle of Waylon & Willie vs. The Machine
Walking through a backstage maze of tour buses, Charley Crockett looks out at the Atlantic and takes a big sip of air. “This tastes like home. I was born on this here Gulf Coast, way down in South Texas.” It’s the third time he’s mentioned his roots to me, and when he takes the stage a little later, he lets the crowd know, too. “Hello, my name is Charley Crockett. That’s Charley with an ‘E-Y’ — like Pride — and Crockett with two ‘Ts’ — like Davy. I’m from a little town in the Rio Grande Valley called San Benito.”
We’re in Clearwater, Florida, on the seventeenth stop of his joint tour with soul singer Leon Bridges, a tour they’ve aptly dubbed “The Crooner & The Cowboy.” It’s certainly hot, but the humidity is merciful. Crockett is wearing a brown ten-gallon hat with scuffed boots, a short-sleeve button-up, and bootcut jeans exclaimed by a big shiny buckle. A large silver necklace depicting an …
Best Drunken Holiday Fight-Starters by All 50 States
Alabama — “So how many of Nick Saban’s ‘5 enemies of greatness’ are here with us for dinner tonight?”
Alaska — Curing the mukluk in Grandpa’s Hennessey.
Arizona — Replacing Grandma’s trazodone with sugar pills.
Arkansas — Calling “Woo, pig, sooie!” at your sister-in-law when she brings in snacks during the game.
California — Expressing a preference for women-only locker rooms at the day spa.
Colorado — Saying “No, me niego a pagar el alquiler a Tren de Aragua” when the man with the tattooed face arrives to collect the rent.
Connecticut — Inviting that slut Charlotte von Muffeling to Christmas Eve dinner.
Delaware — Forgetting the laptop at the repair …
Critic's Corner
CBGB FestivalUnder the K Bridge, 9/27/25
I woke up way too early to get in line at the Bowery Presents office in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, for tickets to the CBGB Festival. Named in memoriam of the infamous East Village punk-rock club, the event boasted a lineup featuring big names like Iggy Pop, Jack White, the Damned, and Johnny Marr (none of whom ever performed at CBGB), along with local punk legends like Gorilla Biscuits, Cro-Mags, and Marky Ramone. To honor their scroungy legacy (as well as the club’s opening in 1973), the festival was offering very reduced $73 “Young Punks” day tickets to NYC locals under 25. Only a couple hundred of these discounted golden tickets would be available.
Which is how I found myself in Williamsburg in the early hours of the morning waiting for a theoretically coveted spot. When I arrived at the …