Squirrel of Destiny
The Ballad of Peanut (and Fred)
Overbearing bureaucrats could ransack their sanctuary, then seize and euthanize their tiny bodies. But their truth keeps marching on.
Sic temper tyrannis
Peanut the squirrel was a leaper. He loved to leap. In videos of his seven happy years of domesticated cohabitation with a lively American family named the Longos, seldom was he seen to creep or scurry in the manner of duller, more earthbound rodents. Antic Peanut was always catching air. Down from the bookshelf and onto his master’s shoulders, from the top of the fridge to his master’s outstretched arm, his takeoffs showed total commitment to the arc, but his landings were always sure, as if he were possessed of Velcro feet.
That Peanut became a star of social media, the world’s most famous squirrel with millions of followers, is no more surprising than Nureyev’s ascent to the top of the twentieth-century ballet scene. Peanut’s artistic medium was gravity, a mysterious force invisible to humans but readable to Peanut’s brain in much the way the ocean is to surfers. Kowabunga!
His early …
None But the Rain
The French Broad River keeps rising
Asheville is laid waste
Anatomy of an American disaster
“...mountains drowned;
and gods and demons came out of the South...”
— Thomas Wolfe, Look Homeward, Angel
I.
ASHEVILLE, NC: The water gauge on the French Broad River was reading two feet. 1,620 cubic feet of water were passing through it per second. Not a scary lot of liquid. River rocks were still jutting out under Pearson Bridge, the water white where it spilled over them. Further south, the gauge on the Swannanoa River was also reading: two feet. 158 cubic feet spilled through its thinner channel, moving west to meet up with the French Broad. It was 2 PM, September 25, 2024.
The rain started just before 5. It came from a cold front, air passing west to east. The cool air dragged moisture to …
America by the Numbers
30 — Percent of US wheat directly treated before harvest with glyphosate, the active ingredient in the cancer-causing herbicide Roundup
100 — Percent of US soybean acreage treated with glyphosate
1500 — Percent increase in global use of glyphosate since the introduction of “Roundup ready” glyphosate-tolerant crops in 1996
14 — Number of ingredients in McDonald’s French Fries in the US
4 — Number of ingredients in McDonald’s French Fries in France
$42 Billion — Cost of Biden–Harris administration BEAD program to “unlock the digital potential of rural America”
600 — Current number of Virginia households receiving broadband internet thanks to BEAD
$50 — Monthly starting subscription cost to Elon …