Stephanie Gilmore Rides the Desert Waves
8-time world surfing champion gets stuck in the Arabian Desert. Luckily, there’s a wave pool.
The best surfer is the one who wins over and over and over again, and can’t stop winning
Don’t ever let her win at ping-pong, though
It’s been a few weeks, but there’s still a whiff of hotel lobby ambrosia from the Abu Dhabi EDITION on my long-sleeve shirt, my souvenir from the debut of Kelly Slater’s latest wave pool in the desert of the United Arab Emirates. How did I manage to get this golden ticket to the double top-secret opening of the latest “really big deal” in the elite inner circle of professional surfing on the far side of the world? The truth is I probably should not have been there at all. The month before my trip I was mindlessly messaging an old mate on Instagram, one who happens to be the romantic partner of one Ms. Stephanie Louise Gilmore — the Australian professional surfer, eight-time world champion, and current defending champ. Her fella and I often share flat-earth/lizard-people/hollow-moon/quantum-entanglement memes while comparing notes on nano graphene, mud-flood theories, and project-blue-beam-false-messiah-intergalactic federation-type stuff. Steph lives on the other side of the …