Soothsayers, Begone!
Bags of chicken bones portended the destruction of our liberties
Drag down the statues! Let monkeys arade!
Above all, don’t look inside the old barn
The routing of the soothsayers and magicians who have lately been haunting our county is clearly an occasion for rejoicing. No more will upright citizens wake up in the morning to find their chickens missing, or to find bags of chicken bones behind their barns; nor will they find their donkey’s ears have been painfully together harnessed with string for some unspeakable purpose. No longer will the housewives of our county have to fear that their treasured cookware has been placed under a spell, and find themselves serving burnt meals to their families on a nightly basis. No more will children fear being transformed into lizards and toads by their teachers at school, or be told that they are actually donkeys. We all have had enough of these disreputable vagrants and their spells. The fear they have cast over our everyday interactions as citizens of this county has been considerable. First, because there was no telling what spells the vagrants would next cast, and second because it was …