Johnny Carson's Secret
Treated hog farmers and foul-mouthed comics with equal courtesy
Didn’t give a crap about being on television
Late night king’s legacy offers fleeting glimpse of hope that the legion of second and third-generation Carson imitators including David Letterman, Jay Leno, Howard Stern, Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert, Conan O’Brien, Jimmy Kimmel, Jimmy Fallon, and that weird Scottish guy named Craig something who was on TV for a minute before COVID might one day take a page from the master’s script and bugger off to Africa
The kids were mostly asleep when the funniest thing ever to happen on network television aired around midnight on January 12th, 1979. It would be decades before children had portable digital slot machines to unnaturally stretch out their days, and there were no DVRs either, meaning that the moment had the tenuousness of any other unconfirmable rumor — it could not be shared or repackaged or distorted. As far as anyone knew, Richard Pryor impersonating a stuttering Chinese waiter on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson could only be experienced once, within the dying present of the lived moment. “I mean the man was stuttering in Chinese!” pleaded the stand-up legend, priming a supposedly disbelieving audience for the astonishments to come. Pryor fluttered his eyelids and quivered his entire body as he forced a pileup of consonants through his clenched mouth. On the vowels his whole face suddenly lunged open as he swallowed the air in a slow-motion Oriental battle cry, displaying an …