The Turtle Boy of Austin
Testaceous land-waddlers incapable of generosity or gratitude
To live and die alone
Philosophical genius L. Wittgenstein sagely remarks: “If a lion could speak, we would not understand him.”
Turtle sex is as weird as you would expect it to be. In the case of the ornate box turtle, terrapene ornata, courtship begins with the male pursuing the female and bumping into her. When the male mounts his mate, he locks his legs into her shell. Several hours can pass before the male slides off or falls backwards and the pair go their separate ways. When I, at the age of nine or ten, caught a box turtle couple in our family’s backyard in Austin, Texas, in flagrante delicto, the mounted male was leaning backward like a water skier, while the bored female plodded along through the grass. I later witnessed the results of that or a similar encounter. Trimming a hedge in our backyard garden, my father found a hole where a female box turtle had laid her clutch of eggs. We checked them now and then and were rewarded one morning when we found a couple of hatchlings pushing themselves out of their leathery eggs, having cut them open with the help of “egg-teeth” on their beaks — small …
